Dear Dreams,

People have frequently told me that I have a large imagination, but the truth is most of that time it’s been dreaming, in one way or another. For that I have to thank you, because you are the one thing that has always been completely present. You carried me through the years of friendless misery by giving me imaginary friends. You inspired me to work harder. You keep me awake at night, filling my head with story ideas. It’s because of you that I know what I’m meant to do and am excited to do it. I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve given me. You’ve given me hope when I felt I had none. You keep me going when I start to get discouraged. You amuse me when I’m bored. You give me things to look forward to and goals to achieve. Don’t ever leave me.

Dear Laura,

I know we don’t always get along. In fact, there have been many times over the years that I’ve wanted nothing more than to give you a sharp kick to the shin (and I have a feeling the urge was mutual). The truth is, most of the time, I would do anything for you. That’s what sisters are for.

It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that you’re going to be off to college in the fall. It just doesn’t feel like you should be old enough to do that yet. I think college is going to be good for you. It will challenge you far more than high school (or anything else, for that matter) was ever able to do. And here’s my biggest suggestion to you: have fun. YOu sometimes get so incredibly wrapped up in being perfect (which is annoying as hell, by the way) that I think you sometimes forget to enjoy the whole ride. If I find out you’re spending every free minute at ONU in a practice room, I might have to drive up there myself and beat you over the head with your own trumpet. I know you have to practice, but please, for all that’s good in the world, spend at least a little time away from the trumpet. Join a club. Make new friends. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. And don’t worry yourself into sickness if you find some classes in college are harder than what you did in high school. It happens. It’s good for the humility. It’s okay to struggle from time to time. It’s okay to not be perfect all the time. You’re going to need to grasp that concept sooner or later.

I love you dearly and hope the years ahead of you are filled with excitement and happiness and adventures. Make memories.

Remember when I said one of the reasons I wouldn’t be able to share a letter on here the night I wrote it might be because the power went out? Guess what happened last night, just as I was about to publish this post to my blog. Figures. But I swear I wrote this letter yesterday…

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Dear Mom and Dad,

There are absolutely no words to explain how much you mean to me, but I’m going to try. I honestly believe you’re the best parents someone could hope for…and that’s not just because I’m more than a little biased.

Thank you for believing in me, even when I didn’t always reach what may have been your expectations. Even when I wasn’t a straight-A student in high school. Even when I struggled to regain–and keep–my college scholarship. You believed I could succeed and knew I would be happy with however I got there.

Thank you for encouraging me to dream. You’ve never once said a dream of mine was too big. You didn’t smirk when I decided to study Creative Writing. You’ve always let me dream big and do what makes me happiest.

Thank you for letting me be my own person. I know our views on various issues differ, sometimes dramatically, but you’ve let me discover what I believe in, instead of trying to make me think only how and what you think. You don’t judge me negatively because I chose to be the black sheep and follow more liberal views. You let me say what I think.

And, of course, thank you for reading me bedtime stories. Thank you for the hours spent at the library and for keeping me room stocked with books of all kinds. Thank you for letting my imagination run haywire and listening to my long-winded tales before I was old enough to write them down (and since then too, for that matter). Thank you for putting up with my writerly mood swings and slightly irrational behavior. Thank you for not judging me too much when I ask to see something like the medical dictionary for a scene I’m writing.

But most of all, thanks for loving me for me.

FYI…in the case of some of these letters, I may not want to reveal to whom I’m actually writing. In this case, I’ll just use first initials.

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Dear J,

I’ve liked you for several years now, but I’m fairly sure you have absolutely no idea. I don’t feel like I’ve been subtle. I’ve even stepped out of my comfort zone and asked you to events, but I still don’t think you get it. I’m sorry for this and I’m sorry if I’ve only been obnoxious. I’ve never been good at expressing those particular feelings, because they make me feel nervous and stupid. And I’m painfully old-fashioned when it comes to relationships, meaning that I have an irrational fear of making the first move.

Here’s the truth: You make me smile. You make me laugh. When we talk, I feel like the prettiest girl in the room. I always love seeing you. I adore your hugs. I crave your attention. If I know we’ll be at the same place or event, I look forward to talking with you. You give me butterflies.

I’m nearly 23 years old, but I always feel like a giggly teenager when you’re around.

Why do you do that to me?

I wish I had the courage to share my feelings with you. I wish you knew the truth. I wish I could be more than that girl you’ve known for so many years. I wish you could see me more than a sister or a friend or whatever it is you see me as.

I wish you could know how I feel about you.

Until then, or until I can move on, I’ll just have to satisfy myself with hugs when we see each other and poke wars on Facebook.

First day of Thirty Days, Thirty Letters (or…TDTL as I’m abbreviating it on the post titles, since it would be too long of a title otherwise)! I want to preface this letter with saying that I have many best friends and I love them all dearly, but I didn’t want to write ten or twelve different letters today. So I went with the best friend I’ve known the longest, the one with whom I have the most history. Please feel no offense if I didn’t write to you…it doesn’t mean you’re NOT one of my best friends…it just means you haven’t known me for eighteen years (I know you’re relieved).

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Dear Tracy,

I’ve known you so long that I can’t even recall the day we met. I know it was probably the very first day of kindergarten. Looking back across nearly, what, eighteen years, it amazes me how far we’ve come. We started out as classmates and acquaintances. We were soon fellow Girl Scouts in Troop 1203 (ah, good times), bonded together in the troop by our similar lack of popularity. From there we went to friends, to fellow bandies, to best friends, to nearly sisters. To inseparable.

The adventures we’ve had are many. The laughs we’ve had are innumerable. I truly don’t know what my life would be like if you weren’t in it. Girl Scouts was full of fond times and cherished memories–Indianapolis, COSI camp-ins, Thinking Days, day camps, camporees, and our many luxurious mid-winter mother/daughter lodge camping trips. Marching band was the same way–no busses to get to States, marching in a foot of mud, football games, contests, freezing rain, leadership retreat forts, Wendy’s and Steak & Shake outings, screaming obnoxious cheers until we were hoarse.

You’re the friend I’ve known the longest and who knows me best. You’re the one who tolerates all aspects of my nerdiness and brings me back to Earth easiest. We laugh. We cry. We’ve fought. We don’t always see eye-to-eye. But I know that, no matter what, you’ll always be there, because you’ve always been there. I can ask for nothing greater.

You’ve changed me “for good.”

Thank you for that.

I originally heard about this over on Michelle Zink’s blog, because one of my fellow regular participants in Thursday Night Write is doing this on her blog. Confused yet?

Here’s how it works. Thirty days. Thirty letters. The prompts are already set (the full list can be seen on Michelle’s blog, but I’ll put it here too so you can follow along). The goal is to write one letter each day and not stray from the original prompts. Which, I’ll admit, is going to be hard. But I’m going to try my best. If nothing else, this will give me a chance to explore my own relationships and my own demons and memories…all of which are important to the stories I’m trying to write right now.

Excited? Yeah, me too.

I’ll post the letters here as I finish them. I’m actually handwriting them in a journal of mine, so even if I miss a day of posting here it doesn’t mean the letter never got WRITTEN. More than likely I got distracted by something shiny before I got the chance to post it here at night. Or there was another storm and I had to turn off my computer. Those are the two most likely reasons why I might have to miss sharing a letter here one night. But, never fear, if I miss a night of sharing the letters here…I’ll simply share two letters here the next day. And I’ll be honest with you too. If a letter doesn’t get shared on here because I’m a lazy bum and didn’t write one that day…I’ll let you know.

Here’s the list of themes for each day, in case you want to follow along or participate too:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favourite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

And…here we go!

Again, I’m SO sorry I haven’t updated in, well…over a month. I fail. I embrace it. I’m also very tired lately with the whole full time job thing dangling over my head. Who knew that staring at a computer and every so often entering a bunch of numbers could make you so tired (and then the geek in me thinks about LOST and all is right with the world).

Agent search. It’s still going. I’ve sent out…50 queries now? I think? It’s been going slower over the last couple months, because of work and my low energy level most days, but every so often I get a second wind. I’ve gotten something around 20 rejections. Great feelings involved in that. Thank god for ONU’s English Department giving me a thick skin.

Novel writing. Also going. The Boxes of Pandora is currently at a pause, seeing as how my characters and I are in a stalemate. I’ll win. I always do. But for now they’re putting up quite the fight to NOT work well with me and this is causing me to spend much time staring at the last page in that manuscript going “for the love of all things good in the world, can we finish a chapter?!” Ship of Dreams is also at a stalemate but for a whole different reason involving research, comfort levels, and my extreme paranoia of getting something wrong. I’m working on it, though. It’s constantly on my mind. Out of my projects, The Memory Game is going best. My characters are still in that happy place where they haven’t quite started resenting me yet, so all is puffy clouds and rainbows right now.

Sorry that this was a really abbreviated, somewhat boring post. But now it’s time for me to get OFF the internet and have another go at whipping my Pandora characters into submission.

Long time, no post! Yes, I fail miserably. But in my defense…I started a full-time temp job around the time of my last post. I’ve only just started figuring out the whole writer-with-a-day-job thing a couple weeks ago. And even then, all my writing energy has been going toward my freelance theatre writing job (on Examiner.com…I’m the Columbus Theater Examiner) and my WIPs (more on that later). But I haven’t forgotten you guys and now I’m here to update! Woo-hoo!

So…agent search. Nothing too exciting since my post about the partial. I haven’t heard back yet on that, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed for good news. My new totals are…30 queries sent out…eight replies (7 rejections, 1 partial)…2 closed. I’m holding out hope and still have a TON of agents still to query, so I’m not going to let the rejections get me down! And, as a boost to my self-confidence, my younger sister just finished reading the current draft of “Nor the Battle” and told me that she really liked it. I figure that’s good news, especially since this is just the latest of generally good feedback I’ve been getting from my readers.

I’m keeping myself plenty busy with other WIPs, though…to the extent of insanity. I can’t seem to stop with coming up with ideas I love. As of today, I have three stories I’m going to try to work on…one that I’m focusing 80% of my attention on, the other two are just to keep me sane. Three different genres. And I haven’t even started edits on “Child of Roses” yet. Awesome.

Here are my current WIPs, just for kicks and your own info, in case you were dying of curiosity.

Boxes of Pandora: (fantasy) In theory, this is the first in a planned trilogy. Think…Narnia meets Greek mythology. And friends. And drama. Yeah, we’ll go with that. It’s my first time seriously trying my hand at fantasy and it’s the project I’m focusing most of my attention on. The biggest reason I have the other two projects is so I can go and hide with them when THIS project starts intimidating me.

Ship of Dreams: (historical fiction) I’ve decided to go back to my historical fiction roots, because I used to write a lot of historical fiction back when I first fell in love with writing. Which is strange, really, because I’ve never really liked history itself. I’ve just found certain events or time periods fascinating. And Titanic was an event I found interesting back in elementary school. I found it so interesting that I read as many books (fiction and non-fiction) as I could get my little hands on. I could rattle off any obscure fact at the drop of a hat. And now I’m trying again, on a more serious level than I used to write back in the day. The story of Titanic will be told by three points-of-view, one each in each class. And to make life more exciting for me, the Titanic exhibit is returning to COSI Columbus (the local science center) at the end of this month for quite a while and I’m going to use it for research. Woot!

And, my most recent addition…as in…I started writing it today at lunch…
The Memory Game: (general YA fiction) This is my comfort novel for now. It’s a genre I’m more familiar with, so this is where I’ll probably run to to hide the most. It’s the story of a girl who, for a reason I’m not going to reveal right now, can’t remember anything before she was seven. And so she needs to try to recover those memories and come to terms with the truth of her past. I’m still working on the details (obviously), but there you are.

Okay, that was a really long post. Whew.

Quick post to share this news, because Grey’s Anatomy will be starting soon and I always take my computer downstairs to write while I watch it. (No, don’t bother asking why…it’s just something I started doing over the summer.)

I got my first partial request from an agent on Tuesday! It was refreshing to receive word that wasn’t a rejection. Now I just have to find the time (and money) to get the partial shipped (yay snail mail) and I’ll be good to go. I still can’t believe that someone actually asked to see part of my manuscript. It’s a great feeling!

It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve been querying agents for two weeks. It doesn’t feel like two weeks. It feels like much longer.

My new totals are 17 queries sent out, 2 rejections received. That’s all the response I’ve gotten so far, so I’m sorry that I don’t have anything more exciting to share with you this week. Who knows…maybe I’ll have something more exciting to share soon…

Let’s see…what else is going on? It snowed about 14 inches over this weekend, so I’ve pretty much been spending every minute indoors (except for this morning, when I had to go down to church to play handbells for BOTH morning services). I took a nap this afternoon, so that was exciting. Other than that, I’ve been working hard on my fantasy trilogy concept and reading lots of books.

This coming week will be quite eventful for me. Tomorrow (Monday) marks the end of the liquids-only part of my diet. I’ve been doing that part for five months (ugh). Doctor monitored, of course. Keep that in mind–if you ever want to do one of these intense diets like liquids-only, make sure you do it through a doctor to stay healthy! So tomorrow I’ll finally get to eat normal food again (hooray!). And on Tuesday I get to start my shiny new full-time day job as a temp at a Nationwide office. I’m looking forward to having money again and *gasp* being a grown up. 🙂